Monday, October 29, 2012

AUTUMN LOVE


I’ll be honest – this is just going to be a love-fest of all things autumn.  Warning –shameless fanaticism.
 
Each early autumn, I talk a friend or two in visiting the apple orchard south of my small town. I make them walk the dirt-avenues lined with squat trees with me, plucking a different apple off of the low twisted branches. A dark shiny red here. A pale speckled one there. A green and round one there.  We aren’t sure if it is allowed, but we sample as we go—chucking the apple to the back of the orchard after a bite or two. I also like kicking the fallen apples and stomping hard on the half-rotten apples. With each foot-fall, there comes a pleasant crunch or pop of fruit-flesh. And I don’t even mind sharing the place with the greedy bees.  I never actually pick and buy the apples off the trees;  we head inside where they are captives--neatly bundled and labeled. But I still like walking the rows, feeling a connection to where the apple begins.
 
The last couple of years, I’ve bought my pumpkins at this orchard too. It seems a bit early. Usually I don’t like to mix my apple celebration with my pumpkin celebration – wanting to give each some of its own time. But this year it just made sense. I tend to gravitate towards the stranger, less-traditional pumpkins, and load them in my wagon (with the man at the weigh-and-pay informing me that all my picks are really gourds and not pumpkins. Duly noted.)  White, squat, yellow, multi-colored, striped, etc.  They have now found a home huddled and stacked in the corner of my side porch.
 
We also stop by a local mum farm to pick out bushy flower pots of orange, and yellow, and scarlet.  We barely can fit our “harvest” into the car. Gallons of cider and jars of apple butter begin rolling around the floorboard.  While I’m not sure where we would fit them, I find myself regretting my decision to skip buying the baby gourds.  In the past, I could spend an inordinate amount of time at the baby gourd bins. I like to pick each one based on their uniqueness. But there are so many!  And they are all splendidly deformed, misshapen, warty, swirled – like mutant vegetables. The children of one of my friends play with her gourd collection as if they are strange aliens in an intergalactic battle.  So later that week, I pick up a bag at Target – letting them choose the assortment this time. And my home feels a little more ready for autumn. 
 
It’s not just the sights of fall that bless me. I love the smells too.  Walking the trail by my house kicks up a scent that reminds me of the Montana mountains. Not sure why.  But there is something earthy, gritty, decaying, that reminds me of that summer in Glacier Park.  And inside, a mixture of cider and spices gently bubble on my stove. Call me wasteful, but half of the reason I buy cider is for simmering.  And then there is the taste of fall.  Like a pumpkin-glutton, I gobble up anything and everything spicy-orange.  What can pumpkin be mashed into -- lattes, ice cream, bread, muffins, soup, dip, rolls, butter—give it to me!
 
It cracks me up that everyone evaluates the leaf-color show each fall—judging one to be more brilliant than the last. But I never see the big difference. It always seems spectacular to me. On my semi-regular walks, I veer left or right if it means walking through dry, crunchy leaves. And have you noticed that the blue of the sky is so much richer and deeper than any May-or-June-blue could be. It seems like the slant of the afternoon sun is lusher as well. I stop in front of someone’s house the other day to take a picture of their tree – it was a perfect mixture of orange, yellow, and shiney brown leaves—all trapped in the same multiple-personality tree. (I really hoped they were not at home.)  I also keep a collection of brown things in a box to put out on the coffee table every year.  Pods, nuts, dead spikey blooms, seed balls, -- ok so I’m not really sure what they all are. But they are “fall” to me. I search for things to pick up on my walks and stuff them in my pockets. Nothing thrills me more than the glossy shell of a buckeye in my pocket that I can rub with my thumb– like a magic lantern of sorts.  It never seems to lose its sheen.  And if you are a lucky treasure-hunter, you happen upon those weirdly bumpy hedge-apples scattered along the ground. But it’s not brown, orange, yellow, or red so I don’t pick it up. But I do wonder how it would look hanging out with my baby gourds inside or on the porch with the adult gourds-who-disguise-themselves as pumpkins.

I don’t even mind that night starts dropping its darkness earlier and earlier each day. It only emphasizes the warmth of home. As a college student,  I remember driving home from college late on Friday nights and turning the corner and seeing the kitchen window lit up from the inside – usually steamy from whatever food was being boiled, roasted, sautéed, or fried.  I had the same warm feeling about golden windows last year when I trick-and-treated with my nephews. (First of all, do neighbors enjoy each other like this at any other time of the year?!?!?  I love Halloween for this reason – people are opening doors and greeting each other throughout the evening.) And as the festivities progressed, and the sun dipped low, each house looked even more inviting with windows aglow.
 
I’m sitting here and writing this on a sunny but chilled afternoon. The assertive wind is sweeping up the already brown and curled and deceased leaves. They scurry, scuttle, scrape the front sidewalk in sudden stampedes. Love that sound! Stay a little longer fall. I want to draw you out for months and months. Thanksgiving is the cap, I know, for all of the abundance of the season.  But I won’t wait until then to give my God thanks for all that blesses me and draws me toward Him-- the Creator and Provider and Artist in this great world. Thank you!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Spacious Places


I’m on “staycation” this week with plenty of time for projects and personal interests and maybe even some play.
But I’m definitely going to walk a lot this week. Sometimes I enjoy walking the “mean streets” of downtown Plainfield. In a hokey way, it stirs up sentimental feelings of belonging and community. But this week I’m bored with my regular route, so I headed to a newly discovered park in a nearby town. The walking road (it’s not really a trail) winds back and back to a playground, amphitheater and community building overlooking a pond. While the pond is hugged on one side by a line of tall straight trees, when you sit in the Adirondack chairs on the back patio of the community building and look out over the pond, it is a nice slice of sky.   
It’s my new favorite place. Yesterday, I paused my ipod and just listened to silence. I was the only one there. No other cars or people--not even any insect-buzz. The only other creature was one dark hawk waltzing above the trees in hypnotizing figure-eights. I waited to see if it would dive for food – but it just kept catching the next breeze under its wide wing-expanse.  
Now, I love my intimate fenced-in back yard. And I’m grateful for the town trail that brushes past front porches and bisects traffic. But sometimes I want to be in wider spaces. I remember the post-college summer I spent in Montana where the sky would swallow you up. We would drive up to the peaks to watch the sunset, or pull over to watch lightning tear up the horizon.
In the Bible, King David celebrates how God brought me out into a spacious place, and follows that up with a declaration that God rescued me because he delighted in me. (Psalm 18:19).  Another version says it more plainly:  God stood me up on a wide-open field.
This verse has always been meaningful to me, but I could never really explain why. The picture of God bringing me out into a wide-open field is freeing to me. And I know that freedom is God’s thumbprint on any life.
Today, I headed to another park in the opposite direction. The trails there are lined by tall grass or covered over by tree-branches.  I took a right turn on the “bat trail” (which freaked me out a bit) and entered the woods. To my left and to my right was bushy, verdant growth. I was imagining and acting out a scene from the movie Last of the Mohicans with Daniel Day Lewis. And I wondered what creatures might be hiding under all that green.
I prefer spacious places.  No enemies. No hidden snares. No fear.  No smallness. No cramped quarters. No dark and shady places. No obstacles. No climbing or digging or ducking. Just space, and plenty of it.
And symbolically and spiritually, that’s what God wants for me. Spacious living! He delights to rescue me TO spacious living, and FOR spacious living.  
So I am seeking out these slices of sky; searching for these large, airy places.  And maybe, I’ll lay on my back and watch the cauliflower clouds roll past. Or maybe instead, I’ll fling my arms open and spin around like I’m in a music video. And then there is also the option of riding the wind in figure-eights with the hawks!  I’m definitely starting to feel His delight again.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Bucket Lists

I have a new favorite show--Idiot Abroad. It’s about an English guy (Karl Pilkington) who has agreed to go out and try, accomplish, experience items that are on other people’s Bucket Lists.  What makes the show so great is that Karl is hilarious!  He’s so uncomfortable, unwilling, sarcastic, deadpan and indifferent. But he often highlights the truth about the experiences that people think will in some way define them. (This guy and this show is hilarious – watch it!)
So this new TV addiction made me start thinking about my own Bucket List. I don’t understand or like that title, so I call mine a Life List.  I have three general reactions when I read my Life List.  1)  Frustrated.  Nothing makes me feel more like a loser than reading my life list and realizing that I haven’t accomplished many of them. Examples:  owning a home, paying off debt, travelling to all seven continents. 2) Anticipation.  Many of the items on my list are actually do-able.  Examples:  travel to all 50 states, publish something, learn Italian, become a better tennis player or golfer.  3) Amusement.  Some of the things on my list make me laugh because I don’t know where I came up with them.  Examples:  learn how to play the stand-up bass – why do I think I can do this if I failed at learning how to play the guitar;  try stand-up comedy – am I even funny? . . . . Not sure;  have a gift-wrapping room—I don’t even have a guest bedroom or second bathroom!; dress up like Marie Antoinette for Halloween—come on, think about those wide hip-hiding dresses and incredibly ridiculous high hair; and . . . . harvest cranberries—this one is my favorite! I don’t even know how they do this, but please let it involve waders and actually getting down into the cranberry bog. 
On a more serious note, is it a good idea to put too much emphasis on a list like this? Let’s face it – most of the world doesn’t have the time, money, or health to think about such luxuries and leisure.  So should we? The better question may not be will I ever complete this list; but rather is this a good way to measure the quality of a life? If you are a list-maker, you might love the idea of relegating life to a neat to-do list with check boxes. But the more I learn about life, the more I see that it isn’t about doing, it’s about being. And it isn’t about coming up with new and cool experiences to do, as much as it is about experiencing fully what you are in the middle of doing.
As much as I love sarcastic, deadpan, unwilling and indifferent Karl as he is watching gorillas in their natural habitat, walking the Great Wall of China, or climbing Mt. Fuji (because it makes for great TV!), I hope that he has plenty of moments of wonder and joy and passion as he experiences family, friends, faith and community. And I hope the same for me! And I hope the same for you!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Bye –Bye Christmas (Sniff)

When I was young, I used to get a little depressed after Christmas. (Who am I kidding, I still get a little depressed after Christmas!)
I don’t fall into that silly depression right after Christmas – I actually love the week right after Christmas. No big plans or agendas or projects or even expectations. Just a lot of rest and home. Basking in the celebration that just occurred. Enjoying the presents just received. Relishing the lingering warmth of friends and family. Delighting in sweet leftovers. Savoring the Christmas lights for just a couple more nights. Opening books. Drinking hot chocolate. Putting together puzzles.  And if it snows hard, even better!   
I know people who put their Christmas away on January 26 – what?!?! My family’s tradition aims for Epiphany.  But eventually even Epiphany arrives. It’s January, and you’re a little embarrassed that your Christmas tree is still up.  
So this year, as I “put away” Christmas, I’m determined to come up with a few ways to carry Christmas with me throughout the year. Here are some ideas and plans:
1)      Listen to music that is uplifting and positive and celebratory. Besides, maybe Blue Christmas and the ridiculous song Christmas Shoes – do you know any depressing Christmas songs?.
2)      Sit in candlelight more often. Around the table with friends. Outside on my deck. It makes any evening or event more magical. And besides, don’t we all look better in soft candlelight?
3)      Wrap presents extravagantly with lots of ribbons all year long. It taps into the little creativity and artsy-ness that I possess, and it adds to the joy of giving and spoiling.
4)      Attend more children’s programs, concerts, recitals, plays, etc. I watched my nephews participate in their church’s Family Christmas Eve Service this year and it was adorable!
5)      Continue discovering the beauty of Bible stories. While I could list 1000 reasons why I love teaching and ministering to teenagers, here is one thing I do not like. They often complain that they have heard the stories from the Bible a thousand times, and are bored with them. It makes me want to wring their necks. I’m a lot older, and I am constantly discovering new and beautiful things about God’s Story. The Christmas story is exceptionally precious, and I enjoyed drinking it in one more time this Christmas.  But there are nuggets of beauty, intrigue, and truth tucked into every story.  
6)      Be more shepherd-like. (This one may take more explanation).  I actually heard in our Day care’s Christmas program something I had never thought about before . A cute 5th grade boy in a bathrobe with glasses slipping down his nose and hair going every-which-way, recited loudly a line which sounded something like this: “We have to go to Bethlehem to see the baby. Don’t worry about the sheep. God will take care of our sheep while we’re gone.” In all of my 30+ years listening to the Christmas story, I have never once worried about the sheep. I mean it was the shepherd’s entire life’s work, to guard, protect, watch-over the sheep. And they just run off and leave them to the mercy of thorns, cliffs, and wild predators?  “God will take care of our sheep!” I love it. And I bet he did! I bet that not one of those sheep suffered harm while their caretakers were off worshipping the Christ Child. So throughout the rest of the year, I’m going to strive to be more shepherd-like. I’m going to work hard at my life’s work, but I’m also going to be ready and willing for when God calls me to something out-of-the-ordinary. Whether it be a call to go, visit, see, stop, worship, rest, give, do, kneel, etc., I want to trust that he’ll take care of those “sheep-things” that usually consume my time and energy, while I drink in whatever amazing discovery there is to discover!